The Clique Minus One.

Hoping to see her around every corner; I was already looking to my left.
I saw them before they saw me.
It was the clique minus one, just the three.
“This is it.”
They never went anywhere without the Lieutenant and they had no reason to be so close to my barracks.
I did the math: {they’re here to collect me.} I choked, knees liquefied. I heard the Captain: “John!”
I knew this day would come.
I felt the left knee buckle. I had it scoped a year earlier and I knew it was going to give to gravity. I fought it and allowed the right knee to give out sooner in order to control my fall and catch myself on the hand railing to my right. I managed to hang my armpit on the railing, I was kneeling. I climbed up to standing and squeezing steel. “John, John; we want to talk to you!” I paused on the railing and waited for the male students to walk into the barracks and to catch my breath. “Come here John!” demanded the Captain.
My arms heaved my body to a railing nearer to them but I couldn’t stand to attention as ordered. Pointing to the ground; the captain yelled: “Come here Now Cadet!” I shook my head “no”. They had to walk to me. I held my breath. I appeared to be cool, arrogant and defiant. I knew it and I hated it but I was grateful to be upright.
I couldn’t look em in the eye. Sgt. Lyn stood to my left. Her red hair accented her kind, blue eyes. Captain Alice was a tiny version of Loni Anderson to my right. Alice was a senior and the highest ranking female on campus. You will never see a pair of eyeballs as blue as Alice’s.
Alice: “Is there someone on campus you’re interested in?” Holding my breath: “uh huh” escaped as I nodded a yes. “Who?” She demanded. I shook my head no and thought: “I’ll only cry if I try to say her name.” I’m misting up. Still looking down; I whimpered: “What if it’s one of you and you laugh in my face?”
Lieutenant Sarah was a blue eyed, natural blond, clone of Sophia Loren. She; sa,sa,sa sizzled. She’ll make ya stutter. She was standing in front of me when she asked: “Well what about Ellie?”
I was holding my breath; I needed that air in order to stay inflated and upright. “She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” escaped me.
Sizzle quietly choked: “Oh? OK; it’s Ellie”.
Snot flew as I deflated and collapsed on to Sizzle; she stumbled back as I buried my face in her left shoulder. I had no shame and buckets of snot. I used Sarah’s deltoid muscle to wipe my nose. Swipe left, swipe right, wiggle in the middle. Her muscle was warm, soft, and the perfect size. I covered her shoulder with a thick, colorful slime; I smeared it in with hot tears as my nose searched for a dry patch of clothing to absorb more fluids.
No one has ever been as happy as I was. No one! Ever!
Alice was a beauty in her own right. She still owns the deepest, clearest, most beautiful, piercing blue eyes on this planet. She was the highest ranking girl on the campus and had initiated the conversation. She ripped me off of Sizzle and screamed: “NO! You don’t talk to anyone but me!” I fell backwards and she shoved me forward to prevent us from falling on the concrete. Lyn caught me and staggered back; I buried my face into her left shoulder. “Ah, warm and dry.”
Looking up to say: “Sorry about the snot” I saw the softest, kindest, blue eyes. Her mascara and mucus was running down her face; we laughed and hid our faces again. I could feel her heaving and gasping; her heart pounding. “I can feel yours too John!” She laughed. I thought my chest would explode.
Alice became enraged when I said: “She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” and it escalated when I held her friends and sobbed. When tearing my clothes off wouldn’t remove me; Alice dug her nails in and screamed uncontrollably. She was physically violent to the point of hurting herself and the others while trying to rip me from them.
That bitch turned into the evil queen from “Snow White” when she heard this mirror proclaim that Ellie was the fairest of them all.
It wasn’t so much “What” I said as “How” I said it. They saw me overdosing on shear bliss.
The Four of us knew: {None of us will ever see anyone react this way towards someone ever again.}
It was sad: {No man will ever cherish us the way John adores Her.}
Wasn’t Alice thinking: “No one can be loved like that until I am first?”

I begged to be alone with Ellie. I couldn’t control that lunatic and knew she would monopolize our special moment together. Alice screamed: “NO!” “Alice screamed everything.”
I whimpered: “Why? She’s my best friend.” Alice hated me for saying that about Ellie: “No, I am! She doesn’t trust you and she’s afraid you’ll hurt her!”
I wailed: “YOU’RE HURTING ME!”
No one has ever made me scream like that; ever.
I cried: “I don’t understand? We’ve been in love for some time now.” It was an accident; it was blurted. I wanted Ellie to hear it first.
It’s the sweetest sound I ever heard: “Confidently proclaiming that she was in love with me will most likely be the most beautiful sound I’ll ever hear.” Those words changed Alice.
I knew this was all too much for them to understand. They knew why I was sent there. My behavior wasn’t jiving with my image.
I couldn’t explain to them: “You bitches need to carry me and lay me at Ellie’s feet.” “You dumb asses should have brought a wheelbarrow.” I had never read or heard of anything like it. I laughed at myself; which hurt my credibility. “You’re beautiful Alice, I’m sorry I said she was the most beautiful; it’s just; I?” And the more I cried for Ellie the more enraged Alice became.
Every time I looked through my tears and into Lyn and Sarah’s eyes; they would burst into tears; the likes of which; have no words or comparisons. I begged Lyn and Sarah for help. Alice slapped at my tears and blocked my view, “Stop it, stop doing that!”
I could control their tears. As Alice pushed me away from them; I looked over her shoulder and into Lyn and Sarah’s eyes. My eyes went back and forth between them as they waited their turn. Their eyes ached for mine; “My turn John; do me, do me.” I looked through my streams with sheer joy and pride. “Of course I’m crying like a baby; it’s Ellie; why wouldn’t I be?”
Sizzle tried to resist; she crossed her arms, stood firm and tall. {No; you can’t make me cry just by looking into my eyes John!} I tilted my head and raised a brow to say: {Oh really? This doesn’t work on you?} She choked and guffawed at the realization that I did indeed have that effect on her; Sarah gave in and matched me tear for tear; we laughed about it and that made us cry even more. [Sizzle snorted a slippery snot slug on my shoulder.] {That’s why we’re supposed to hug, so no one sees your snot flying; stupid!} {That’s more like it; now you Lyn.} Lyn was a piece of cake; Lyn’s eyes were waiting. We got high off of one another.
When I say: “We soaked one another with our tears and snot.” I mean: “White blouses becoming see through; soaked.” “Belly buttons and bras.” My uniform became clingy, sticky and uncomfortable.
{Wait till Ellie sees how grateful I am to be loved by her.} No woman has ever been so loved and yet? She loves me more. {She’s gonna cry harder than all of us.}
All of this was done while Alice screamed and clawed at me and my clothes to keep the attention on her. Ellie doesn’t want to be alone with you; she doesn’t trust you!”
“Sarah; please tell Ellie to keep this bitch away from me.” As I tossed a hitcher’s thumb over my shoulder indicating Alice. “I knew Alice wouldn’t let Ellie be the center of attention.
I begged: “Lyn? Please help me? Don’t you think I should be allowed to have a moment alone with Ellie?”
Lyn: “Of course you should, makes perfect sense to me.”
That only made the Captain more insane, she jumped on my back threw an arm around my neck.
It tickled me but enraged me? “Name one man who would do that to me?” I couldn’t reason with Cybil and I couldn’t kill her; I was exhausted so I ran. I ran into the barracks bawling like a little girl.
No one ever lay in their bunk and had a better cry than I: {that girl is so f-ing in love with me.}
{Why would I need to argue for some privacy with Ellie?}

That wasn’t the first time a young woman made me run away crying like a little girl.
Before being sent to Marion Military Institute I was enrolled in a public school in nowhere Arkansas. It was my junior year, 83; I knew everyone and they knew me. My girlfriend had started a typing class and typed a naughty letter that my mom found.
So two days later on a Friday afternoon; I was given a tour of my new school in Alabama by Sargent Shirley. I needed uniforms and a haircut. We started for the Quad from the guardhouse and I saw her for the very first time. She was visibly disturbed by me. I was impressed she could see so well; she was roughly 100 yards away. She was ahead of me, on my way; so it was ok for me to look at her but she had to keep turning to look at me. “Maybe she’s staring at Sargent Shirley?” “Nope, her eyes are in mine and no one is that cold.” “It’s my nose.” I held my hands out and mouthed: “What?” as if to say: “If it disturbs you so much? Quit looking at it.” “Damn! She’s adorable!” A muscular little Angie Harmon; powerfully stretching her strut to stay in step with the other students. She kept turning to look at me and kept stumbling.
The next morning Sargent Shirley took me to show me where my classes would be. He was taking me to the library when we stopped to cross the road. She was across the street talking to another girl. I tapped Shirley without taking my eyes off of her. “Does she have a boyfriend?” “No.” Just then she turned and saw me.
Busted! I was swooning. She caught me and she loved it; she swooned back.
She locked eyes with me and started bouncing off of the ground; small, quick hops that grew into violent jerks and jumps. Her biceps fought against her triceps. I saw the pain in her eyes as her head whipped back and forth. At the peak of this “FIT?” Her bounces were six inches off of the ground. Her fists were clinched and pumping as she fought against that assault. Her eyes begged for my help. I couldn’t move.
{She’s a goof, what in the worl? Why is she?} Her fit fizzled out; she was visibly exhausted and rattled by her spastic spectacle. She never took those eyes off of me. I watched her reach for her knees and gasp for her first breath. I watched her use that same breath to blast the hair from her eyes. Those eyes never left mine and they never blinked. I thought: {Klutz; maybe I don’t have to lov?} My thoughts were interrupted by the quaking of my shoes. {What the fu?}
It started out as odd little jerks and twitches of sorts but damn? It grew; it grew into a painful attack that had me bouncing off of the ground while my spine and neck whipped like a rope. My biceps fought against their triceps; all of my muscles were fighting their opposites’. Never have I lost control of my muscles and suddenly I’m convulsing rhythmically in front of strangers in a strange place. My brain hurt as it slammed into the inner wall of my skull while my head rocked back and forth. My fists were clinched and pumping as I fought against that assault.
During my “FIT;” I thought: “She is so in love with me!” Each word was thought in sync with each jerk. “Love with me” was screamed internally at the crescendo of my “attack”.
I thought: {this is what she said and felt as she was having her attack.}
I gradually quit bouncing and took a cue from her. “Whew.” I propped myself on my knees. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
Two exhausted children suffering from “Baby Shaking Syndrome” stared at one another.
{Well, now I’m a “klutz” too; I guess we ARE in love with each other.}
Her mouth was agape, those eyes were amazed. She saw it. She saw that I had realized: [She was screaming out internally: “He is so in love with me!” as she was bouncing off of the ground.]
She knows: I’m in love with her and she loves it.
I started crying and fell forward. I threw a foot in front of me to catch my fall. I kept falling and catching myself in a perpetual stumble. Hunched over, arms down by my sides; I ran away bawling. “That girl is so fucking in love with me.”
I didn’t even know her name. “Why was she in uniform and on campus on a Saturday?”
I waited for Sgt. Shirley to catch up. “What the hell John; what’s wrong with you?” “I’m alright, I’m fine;” I wiped the snot on a forearm.
We walked down to the QM and talked. Sargent Shirley was hard to look at. He had the nose and the chin of the goblin from “Legends,” the skin too. Zits would form and burst right before your eyes. He would wince and squeeze them as we spoke. So I took it to heart when he warned: “John, all of these doors are heavy and spring loaded; if you don’t want all of those eyes to turn and stare at you; be prepared.”
Sunday was uneventful.
I saw her through the window as I approached my first class that Monday morning. I was two weeks and ten minutes late to Mrs. Cobbs’ class. I could never open and shut one of those doors so perfectly ever again. No one turned to stare at the new kid. Cobbs motioned to the empty desk between us; other than that; my eyes were glued to the girl.
It was the standard: Chair/desk combo. She was diagonally to my left, talking to Lyn. I placed my books on the desk and took it with my right hand and grabbed the chair with my left; I turned towards her as I was lowering myself into the seat.
“KRACK A FUCKING BOOOM!” Only one, who has heard lighting striking nearby, can understand the power and volume of the noise we heard that day. It was deafening.
“KrackaFuckingBoom Lady! She shook twice and launched. I watched her drive those thighs into the edge of that desk. I saw those thigh muscles wrap around the edge of that desk; saw the desk digging into her bone, I can still see that face rocking back in pain as she jumped up with a desk trapping her, hitting her. It hurt me so bad to see her in so much pain. I was so glad the feet of that desk didn’t land on hers when she crashed back to earth. Her books fell about as she spun towards the sound.
I flinched, leaned forward and braced myself as she made a spastic spectacle of herself. “Wasn’t my seat empty the last time she checked?”
I thought I was under attack. I was mad at myself for not looking at the people to my right before trying to sit down but I was staring at her. “He must be a bad SOB to start some shit with me. If he doesn’t knock me out? I’m going to jail today.”
“Did she think I fired a handgun?”
She saw me; squatting, hovering, frozen, and squinting; anticipating the blow that never came.
I melted into my seat as I realized what had just happened to us.
Her eyes told me: “No one was behind me, attacking me.”
I knew: 1. She didn’t know that I had walked in.
2. She was affected by the noise.
3. No one else was.
4. She knows; I heard it and no one else did.
I was certain that the windows would shatter.
“YOU’RE PERFECT!” Three syllables not four.
“YOU’RE PERFECT!” was a five second explosion that thundered and demanded that we knew: “We’re perfect for one another.”
“One soul trapped in two bodies.”
“For me?” “I guess I’m yours.” “Wow! Her half got all of the looks.”
I couldn’t breathe. She was a cross between a young Susan St. James, Julia Ormand and Marlo Thomas; only stronger, sexier.
I kept turning away in disbelief. She stared with a confident belief. “Come swoon with me; give me your eyes Mr.”
“She is so f-cking in love with me.”
Not bad for a Monday.
Nothing happened on Tuesday.
Wednesday night was rough. I met Terry and George.
Me: “What about the girl with the “Dorothy Hamill?”
George: “The girl with the eye?”
Me: “Yeah”
George: “That’s Ellie; she’s single.”
Me: “How do you know?”
George: “Cause; she sat in my lap at a party last weekend and kissed me.”
Me: “You lucky Bastard! She didn’t even know you and she just sat on you and kissed you?”
George: “Flung her arms around my neck and sat across me like this.”
Me: {I hope he can’t see how jealous I am.}
Me: “What cha do?”
George: “I pushed her off; I have a girlfriend.”
Me: Good; she’s free. If he had returned her kiss she would be with him right now. Nothing that beautiful would ever sit in my lap and kiss me.
Me: That eye is going to get me thrown out of this school.


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